Screwover
by Elliot Pole
Summary: Miley doesn't want to be Hannah Montana anymore. She has a crush on Ashley and teaches Lilly about farts as an attractor for females.
1. Chapter 1

**Screwover**

"You know what?" Miley said, handing Lilly a tray full of gummy worms. "I think I'm going to give up on being Hannah Montana."

"But why?" asked her friend.

"Well, I think I'm getting a crush on Ashley."

"But we hate her!"

"Do you have to commence ever question with 'but'?"

"No," Lilly said, scowling. "I just thought—"

"Lilly, it's time to move on. Have you ever had lesbian tendencies?"

"No, actually I think only guys will ever attract me."

"Are you certain?" Miley asked. "Because I know something that will induce you to change your mind."

"Really? What?"

"Sit in that chair over there," Miley said, pointing to a black loveseat.

"Okay," Lilly complied.

Miley planted her butt on Lilly's lap. "Now, Lilly, please don't freak out."

"Whatcha planning to do?"

"Something glorious, don't you worry a feather, dear!" Miley exclaimed, putting her index finger to Lilly's lips. Then she turned around.

A fart emerged from her butt and seemed to engulf Lilly. The latter wanted to scream but felt love bubbles bursting in her belly. So this was what it was like to crush on a girl…why hadn't she noticed how spectacular Miley was before? If only she were her girlfriend and not just her best friend…

"See what I mean?" Miley asked. "It always does the trick."

"But it was a f—" Lilly could not bring herself to say the word.

"Farts are beautiful, Lilly. It may take you a while to understand that, but it's true."

Then Miley got off Lilly lap and swayed her hips, dangling her butt as if it were a delicious fruit. Lilly wondered what it would be like to kiss her friend's posterior…

_What am I doing? _Lilly thought. _I'm supposed to like Oliver, not Miley. But her fart is so luscious! It wouldn't be wrong, would it?_

The next day at school, Amber was sick, leaving Ashley alone. Miley went over to comfort her, and Lilly stayed away. Lilly watched as Ashley and Miley farted on one another, their butts placed adjacently on the table. Why didn't anyone else notice? Looking closer, Lilly saw that Miley had put on cosmetics that made her look uglier than her normal self. Ashley actually appeared to be prettier today. And Lilly could see that Ashley was farting on Miley more than the latter released on the former.

After school Miley joined Lilly and laughed her heart out. "Man, that was the most fun I ever had! Ashley is such a great farter—why couldn't she fart on me all the time?"

"I'm sure she'd like to," Lilly said in a hurt tone.

"Oh, Lilly, don't tell me you'd like to fart on me too? I mean, I'd be perfectly fine with it. You shouldn't be upset, my dear."

"I wouldn't know if I was farting right," Lilly said, modestly.

"I can show you, if you'd like. Especially since I'm not going to be Hannah Montana anymore. I have so much extra time."

"Yes, show me."

Miley took Lilly to the broom closet at the local cinema and showed her how to sit so that the fart came out nice and smoothly. She had to demonstrate several times before Lilly understood. "There are more complicated farts," Miley told her. "But let's save those for another day. Some of them are illegal."

"How can a fart be illegal?"

"Well, the woman who invented this love from farts, Natalie Sweesy, was really a sadomasochist, which means she received pleasure from both inflicting and receiving pain. An illegal fart is one that causes pain to the person it is done on. For instance, the Quao makes you fall desperately in love with the butt of the girl who performs the Quao."

"Is this only a girl thing?"

"Yes. If guys did it it would be disgusting. But for us girls it really is love. Now, let me show you an illegal fart."

Miley moved her butt in an abnormal way and bent her head prayer fashion. "Here it comes!" She released her fart and it felt as if three daggers were being thrust into Lily's chest. "Oww!" Lilly exclaimed.

"Sorry, Lilly. Guess that was a little extreme."

"Teach me how to do that!" Lilly demanded.

"Not yet, some other time. But I have homework to do. Catch you later."

Lilly went home thinking about illegal farts. Wouldn't it be fun to do those on Miley? Or Amber? Or Ashley? It would indeed. She smiled maliciously.

A week later, Miley was found screaming in Ashley's basement. Lilly happened to be walking by the house at the time, and supposed it to be due to an illegal fart. She had to find out. So she had no qualms about bursting into Ashley's house and discovering what horrors her friend was enduring.


	2. Chapter 2

Screwover, Chapter Two

**Screwover, Chapter Two**

Lilly entered the house cautiously. The door was unlocked. The screams were coming from the basement, and she saw no entrance to it in the living room, so she went into the kitchen. She found a stairwell leading downstairs, and began to descend. The screams were getting louder.

At the bottom, Lilly peeked around a corner and saw Ashley sitting on Miley. The room smelled foul, full of Ashley's flatulence. Lilly ran up to Ashley and grabbed her about the neck. Ashley struggled, but Lilly managed to pull her off. Then she heard Miley's protests. "Lilly, let her go! _Please! _ I was enjoying myself!"

"You were screaming," Lilly said. Her nose was crinkling; she hated the odor of Ashley's fart.

"Screams of _pleasure, _Lilly. Like the screams one lets out when on a roller coaster! Not screams of pain!"

"Oh," said Lilly. She released Ashley. Ashley resisted the urge to kick her, and reseated herself on Miley's lips.

"I suggest you leave," Ashley said. Lilly did so.

The next day at school, Miley wouldn't speak to her. In second period, Miley asked Tiffany Jordan for a pencil, whereas she usually asked Lilly for such things. Lilly kept on trying to get Miley to say something, anything, but it was no go.

Three days later, Miley finally deigned to speak to Lilly. "Meet me in the bathroom after fifth period," she said. "Before lunch."

Lilly arrived at the bathroom immediately after fifth period. Miley didn't show until five minutes later. "I meant the bathroom near the 300 hallway!" she hissed.

"We can go there," Lilly suggested.

"No, no," said Miley. "This will do." She grinned wickedly and pushed Lilly toward one of the stalls.

"What are you doing now?" Lilly wondered, half frightened, half exhilarated.

"Having fun," Miley said, shutting the stall door. She pushed Lilly onto the toilet seat and set her own posterior in Lilly's lap. Then Miley released a fart, which caused Lilly to crinkle her nose.

"Don't crinkle your nose," Miley commanded. "Smell it, breathe it, desire it."

Lilly did her best to desire it. She thought her heart would overflow with the _need _to be farted on by Miley. But the next moment, she wanted all this to be over.

"You're not doing well to desire it," Miley said, sounding hurt.

"I'm trying!"

"Maybe we need to take things to the next level," Miley said. She bent forward, and it took a minute for what she was trying to release to come out. Her feces.

"Ewww!" Lilly shouted.

"Don't be disgusted. Worship the butt that was kind enough to let you have it." Miley then kissed Lilly on the lips, which made Lilly almost swoon. Then Miley returned to defecating.

And then a screech—loud noises in the bathroom outside the stall—and it was jerked open by Mrs. Radcliffe, one of Miley's teachers.

"Detention after school for both of you. In my classroom. Now, leave this infernal restroom!" Mrs. Radcliffe barked. Miley got up immediately, followed quickly by Lilly. Miley's excrement rolled off onto the floor.


	3. Chapter 3

**Screwover**

**Chapter Three**

Lilly was first to reach Mrs. Radchiffe's room for detention.

"Where is the princess who was giving you unfair treatment?" Mrs. Radchiffe asked, when ten minutes had gone by and Miley didn't show.

"Oh no, Mrs. Radchiffe, you got it all wrong. I wanted it to happen."

"You desired her to do that to you?"

"Yes."

"All the more reason you are here in detention."

Lilly gulped. And when Miley finally did walk in a few minutes later, Lilly was determined not to speak to her.

"Start your homework," Mrs. Radchiffe barked. Lilly pulled out her algebra homework and started working on it. She looked over at Miley, who was drawing stick figures in her history textbook.

"Hey, if they think you're busy, then you're busy," Miley whispered.

"Are you girls working? I thought I told you to work."

"You bet, Mrs. Radcliffe.," Miley said. "The Treaty of Paris was signed after the XYZ Affair fell through."

"I guess you are studying, if you know that," Mrs. Radcliffe said.

Lilly looked at Miley, questioningly.

"Ihe Treaty of Paris is the answer to everything, Mr. Stockholm told me," Miley whispered.

"What's that your working on?" Mrs. Radcliffer said, standing over Lilly's desk. "Ah. Algebra. What is the sigma quotient of 4x over y when the quadratic equation is in tangent 3 of the graph with a slope of 4/9?"

"Huh?" Lilly said. The question may not have been heard right. It was so complicated.

"I see your study of this subject could use some improvement," Mrs. Radcliffe said. "If you studied math as well as Miss Stewart studies history, you'd make a great astro-physicist one day."

Lilly did not know what an astrophysicist did and she wasn't sure she wanted to. She certainly did not want to be one. But she nodded and returned to her work.

After half an hour, Mrs. Radcliffe said, "And now the fun begins."

"We get to go home?" Lilly asked, hopefully.

"No. You get to stabilize my nemesis."

Lilly had a confused expression on her face. She looked to Miley for an answer. She could not tell if Miley was confused or not because Miley could pretend not to be better than Lilly could.

Mrs. Radcliffe marched over to the tall cabinet and pulled open the door. A woman bound and gagged fell out. She looked to be Mrs. Radcliffe's age, but she was much prettier. At least what could be seen of her through the gag and wrappings.

Mrs. Radcliffe removed the gag.

"Let me go, you fiend!" the woman screamed.

"I am not letting you go for a long time, Matilda."

"If I scream, someone will come and rescue me."

"Not too likely, I'm afraid," Mrs. Radcliffe said. "I have a soundproof beetle in the room. But you can try."

And the woman—Matilda—screamed for all her lungs could muster, but though three minutes passed, no help came.

Mrs. Radcliffe, satisfied that the woman was restrained, came to the front of the classroom. "Okay, listen up. Miley, I want you to fart or poop in Matilda's mouth as you please."

"Hey, what are you plotting over there?" Matilda asked. She could not turn her head.

"Your succumbing to me, that's what," Mrs. Radcliffe said.

Lilly looked at the poor Matilda and felt that she would hate to be restrained like that. Unless it was Miley doing this to her. In fact, Lilly wondered if Matilda was faking her resistance to Mrs. Radcliffe because a woman of her position ought to not want this to happen to her. If Mrs. Radcliffe were Matilda's Miley, it's possible. Or even if Mrs. Radcliffe was thought of as Ashley and Matilda as Miley…Miley would pretend to resist Ashley's butt if she had do but squeal with delight if said posterior were to actually fart on her.

"And Lilly, if you want to fart on her, you are welcome to do so. Or tickle her or whatever provided that tickling her does not disrupt Miley. But you ought to do something to make her feel vulnerable. Whatever comes to mind."

Lilly didn't know how she felt about that, but Mrs. Radcliffe was the one in charge, so…

Miley sat on Matilda's face and Lilly put her butt on the woman's stomach area. She rubbed her butt there in a way that she was sure would attract some males while Miley let out a huge fart that caused Lilly to cover her nose until Mrs. Radcliffe said, "Remove your hands from your nose, Lilly. If Matilda can take it right in the face, you can take it at that distance."

Lilly did as she was bid, and endured more of Miley's farts, some of which smelled like Miley had eaten eggs all day for a week straight. And Lilly couldn't look at Miley from her position because Miley was sitting behind her. And then came a cute, petite fart that Lilly heard but only got the slightest whiff of. How she wished she were under Miley's butt then! But it was not to be.

After forty-five minutes of this, Mrs. Radcliffe said, "Okay girls. You have done well. You may go."

As Lilly stuffed her work in her backpack, she wondered what would happen to Matilda when she and Miley were gone. Mrs. Radcliffe sure wasn't hurrying to untie her.

Miley and Lilly left the room. When they got to the end of the hallway, Lilly said, "I think we ought to turn back. Just take a little peek at what Mrs. Radcliffe is doing."

"I'd rather not be spotted," Miley said. What she didn't say is that she wanted to hurry to Ashley's house. She had already missed two hours of being farted on from being in detention.

"Come on, it'll only be a second," Lilly said.

"Okay, but it better be only that long. I've really got to hurry."

"You're not eager to continue you're homework, are you?"

"Not homework. Ashley." And with that, Miley headed toward Mrs. Radcliffe's room.

Lilly stood there, stunned by the answer. Miley would rather be farted on by Ashley than hang out with her, Lilly? Only when Miley beckoned her forth did she come.

She peered through the glass. She could see nothing. "What's going on?"

"It's a fake image of the classroom. So that anyone walking by wouldn't see a woman tied up."

"Maybe we can hear what's going on?" Lilly asked. She pressed her ear to the door. No sounds came through.

"It's no use," Miley said. "Didn't you hear Mrs. Radcliffe say something about soundproof stuff? It was to prevent people outside from hearing Matilda scream. And now it keeps us from hearing what's going on."

"Then our sense of smell will have to work," Lilly said.

"No use either, if you're thinking that Mrs. Radcliffe is doing to Matilda what I just did. You'll just smell my fart."

"Touch, smell, hearing, sight…what's the other sense?" Lilly asked.

"Taste. Which is closely related to smell. And speaking of which, I have to go taste Ashley's farts."

Lilly wanted to say that she wanted to taste Miley's farts, but she let Miley go without utterance. Miley did run like crazy. She seemed to not be able to endure another minute being free from Ashley's butt.

Lilly sighed. She wanted to reach the point where she could ask Miley to fart on her and not take no for an answer. But some of Miley's farts really grossed her out. Though she still wanted them. It was a loving act, wasn't it, to be farted on? That's what Miley had shown her, anyway. Ashley probably didn't thinkt hat way, but Miley did. And Lilly wanted to be loved by Miley.


End file.
